I was always the "shy" girl growing up - outgoing personality, comfortable with certain people, had a lot of friends but in a big group shy because i didn't want to be the rude, loud one or to be rejected. I was never one of the "pretty girls", just the nice, average one. Confidence was always a "huge" thing for me.
It wasn't until i hit college was when i completely gained confidence and security. I was comfortable in my skin mentally and physically. I suddenly, bloomed and became beautiful and guys left and right would take notice and hit on me. I admitt, it was an ego booster, but did not become the sole purpose/driving motivation for my happiness. I was never the girl who competed; im down to earth and only think about myself.
Three years later, i'm at a crossroad in my life. I'm growing up, maturing. Recently, i've been going through a tough time with all these life changes and i think this time i'm in my life i'm going through THE transition, whether i like it or not...this tough time in my life is bringing me towards adulthood and away from being a "kid". I know it sounds wrong for me to say i'm becoming an "adult", i'm still a student and almost near my degree, but it feels so bitter sweet. I'm usually the type who adapts to changes very well but this type it's hard to cope. It's like you're excited to grow up but it's sad to leave things behind and you can't go back.
This past year, i've lost love, lost someone (who was young - we were never close but it affects me everyday), i've lost two of my best friends (my confidants who i trusted - they're boys and after tragedy, they kinda shut me out), the attention i'm getting from guys is getting worse (it's more straight-forward and sex related), school is frustrating me because i'm not in the "school" i want to get in, i don't have a social life and clubs/bars don't make me happy, i don't know who my friends are, my priorities are different from my friends, and i have such low self esteem with my body...I can't just be me...and i'm slowly becoming an ugly insecure person...
any words of wisdom, please?
Is this normal for young women to feel this way about themselves?
first you are not turning into a ugly insecure person.......do not even think of yourself in those terms.......think more positive.........and if you had some trouble with friends at school and they act different to you they probably was not your friend in the first place.........you need to think of all the good things about you.......and the things you do not like about yourself try and change..........you may want to get involved with other people besides the ones you use to hang around with.........sometimes finding different ways to occupy your time and to make yourself feel better about yourself.......you have almost succeeded in getting your degree..do not let class mates or so called friends get you down.....and i know myself that you do not find real friends in a bar..........and your priorities should be finishing your education and doing the best you can with that........i know you sound like the kind of girl that does let things bother you ..........i am the same way......but while we are being down on ourself they do not care at all.........so pick your self up and take a day at a time........find things to do to keep you busy and things you like to do..........forget these guys and do not let them use you for a sex toy or anything.......you are better than that and you have self worth..........but you have to believe in yourself..............
Reply:Listen, we all go through these feelings over and over. There are some days when I feel like world beater, I feel like I'm the greatest, the confidence is off the chart and than there would be days when I would feel very low and feel like packing my bags and getting the hell out of this state and this country to an unknown place where I could start everything over. Honestly, you will never leave these feelings behind no matter what you do, or no matter where you go. This is called life, just try to make the best of it and always know this, the grass seems always greener on the other side. You might think that so and so have no worries and you wish you had their life, wait till you see these people in a daily basis, you will see what an emotional wreck they are. Always keep in mind that people can never be happy, we all could count the total number of days in our lifetime that we were happy, the rest of it are filled with pain and agony. So, make the best of it and always think of it as, it could always be worse and that you are better off than a billion of people out there.
Reply:It's normal for all young people, male or female, to feel this way. The brush with mortality, losing either a parent or a friend, is very painful, and it doesn't become less so as we grow up, we only accept it better. At this age, we have already grow physically, but our personality will now undergo a lot of changes, and will take some time to settle down (to a certain extent), maybe till mid to late 20s. You're showing all the signs, things that made you happy before don't do anything for you now, you no longer have anything in common with the people you would have once wanted to be friends with. Unfortunately these changes and feelings will continue, and how you react and adapt to them will mould your character and attitude, so think carefully and sensibly. My advice to you: the most important thing in your life right now is your education, never mind if it's not the school you want to be in, some of the most successful people in the world didn't get what you have, so think how much more you can achieve, if you are determined to make the most of it. If you don't like going to clubs and bars, well, don't go there. If you don't like the kind of attention you get from guys, ignore them – only if you reject the ones you don't want, will the kind you do want approach you, else they will think that this is what you want. Try to find something you like doing that will keep you busy and stop your mind thinking these thoughts, a hobby or even community service, or something that will take you out of your comfort zone like learning to dance if you have 2 left feet. But mostly, learn to develop a positive attitude, look on the lighter and brighter side of life. Keeping your sense of humour intact in the face of hardship is the most important survival technique you will ever learn. If you think this is the worst time of your life, it's nothing compared to the horrors yet to come. On the other hand, if you think this is the best time of your life, it's nothing compared to the great times in store. It's all down to how you look at it.
Best of luck
sorrel
No comments:
Post a Comment